My "crazy" observation (Reflection)

Marcia M. Pearce
March 2, 2010

Reflection:Observation on the Train

My decision to remain a nonparticipating observer was a wise gamble on my part. The
“train wreck” I witnessed on the train was unbelievable. Watching three loud individuals engage in their bizarre conversation was unpleasant enough, but their idea of the proper role of the black woman—that her part is sometimes to shut her mouth and let a man be a man—was unspeakable. Subject matter was not the only problem. The tone of one individual throughout this 42-minute observation, a tall brown woman with flashy jewelry and a bad hair weave, was loud and overwhelming. With her powerful voice, she succeeded in talking over the noise of the train and the other people, no small feat.


As I observed her, several critical theories entered my thoughts. First, CD {loud black women who “ruled” the conversation on the train} totally contradicted black feminist theory with respect to the meaning of “empower.” This individual spoke with authority, advocating “submission” to the black man. It pained me to watch and even listen, but I was 30 minutes into this observation and, as mentioned previously, I had determined it best to remain a nonparticipating observer. After 42 minutes of intensely watching three individuals discuss how “black women need to shut up,” I was exhausted and even angered by such a display of nonsense. Two black women and one black man agreeing upon the “necessary” silence of women, yet the two women were decidedly not silent. They were in fact very loud, and generally domineering toward their male counterpart during the entire conversation. In addition, five minutes after the end of this lengthy talk, the older of the two female advocates of black women’s “silence” became engaged in another heated debate, this time with a white woman from France. All I can say is that this exchange was ugly, embarrassing, and totally unnecessary. I walked away from my observation experience feeling nasty and dirty. Hearing these two women, one white and one black, calling one another racial names in English as well as French, triggered
emotions I thought I had successfully set aside—my feelings after experiencing denial of a job based on my ethnicity, the pain I felt when my folks did not embrace my friends from other racial groups.

Sometimes I am blessed with the opportunity to forget about race and negative
stereotypes for extended periods, but sooner or later some incident opens up the
floodgates of memories.